nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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