ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
People in love make me want to vomit
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Randomize