She's JV to your varsity
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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