I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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