Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
