...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
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And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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