I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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