I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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