let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
