i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
