I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
