Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
