3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
