im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
