Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
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She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
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I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
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