i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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