I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize