Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
