I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
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