I wannas sexs uuuuu
I will die if light touches me.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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