Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
