my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
