He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I have tasted many bathrooms
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
