you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
