I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
