I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
3pm strippers are depressing
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
