I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize