It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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