I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
