I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Randomize
