We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize