I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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