Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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