Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
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I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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