she was so not down for the gang bang
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
