Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
