DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
