Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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