i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
