Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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