Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
