Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize