I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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