I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Randomize
