Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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