these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
