i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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