i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Banned from zoo.
Again?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
