margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Of course I have a pirate flag
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
