i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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