But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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