You're so nebulous sometimes
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
