THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Randomize
