Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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