i think my tv is drunk
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
