At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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