Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
