im six kinds of drunk right now
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
