dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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