Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
The power of my boobs compel you
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
