Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize