Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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