somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize