Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
