happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize