these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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