apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
