Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
FUCK WHALES
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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