Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
In America we eat man semen.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
