But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
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she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
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The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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