How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize